The Phoenix

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since the last blog post, and we've had some good times and some tough times. On January 13, Trapper had a CBC and his white cell count was higher, so on January 20 he had another Mitoxantrone treatment, but this time at a lower dosage so that we hopefully wouldn't tank his immune system as much as last time.

Trapper resting on the sofa....totally unaware that he's about to be EATEN BY A DINOSAUR!
(Thankfully, I saved him just in time!) 

On January 17, Trapper was feeling great so we went for a walk in the neighborhood. It had been a long time since he'd been walking, and I think he enjoyed it (though he wouldn't look at the camera ;D )

On the lookout!

Trapper getting laser treatment on January 21. But don't let the party hat fool you -- he likes it!

On January 27, Trapper went in for a CBC and his white cell count was low, but not scary low like last time. Unfortunately, his lymph nodes had started increasing in size less than a week after chemo, and this chemo protocol is a treatment every 3 weeks. This was VERY disappointing, as it meant that we'd lost one of our treatment options...

One night Trapper was shivering...and he actually let me cover him with a blanket :)

Yep, more sofa time--we squeeze in as much as we can get. I dread the day that his spot is empty...

Is he a handsome boy, or what?? Such a proud, badass pup!

A friend gave Trapper some dried apple treats--he LOVES them. Thanks, Patti!!

He'd eat the entire container if I'd let him!

The kitchen floor is Trapper's favorite hangout when we're upstairs.

On January 30, the pups were spoiled by a visit from Uncle Perry & Aunt Denai.
El Diablo (aka Trapper) says they are welcome back anytime (well, as long as they bring those yummy treats!)

 This is a photo I've been thinking about taking for several weeks. It's all the ribbons Trapper has earned over the years. Lots of title ribbons, clean run ribbons from all his runs at Nationals in Reno and Tulsa, and of course his PACH ribbon and bar. There are so many ribbons, stacked several ribbons deep. Of course I'm proud of our accomplishments, but what these ribbons represent most to me is the amazing bond that Trapper and I have built. Every one of those ribbons represents a time when we stepped on course and worked together (well, almost all the ribbons--lol!) Every one of those ribbons represent a gift that I will forever cherish. And of course, not shown are all the runs we didn't qualify on. Those runs were gifts, too. Some of them were more rewarding than the ones we qualified in. The runs when Trapper and I were in sync and dancing that amazing, flowing dance of agility are runs I will never forget. For the record, Trapper, I will also remember the almost year and a half of runs where you refused or hesitated to get on the table. You stubborn boy, I love you!

The boy with his box of ribbons.

See a trend? Yep, more sofa dreaming time.

Trapper contributing to the household by pre-washing the dishes.
Gross, I know, but I'm thankful that I still get to push him out of the way so I can run the dishwasher!

 Super Bowl Sunday and Trapper was having fun! We enjoyed some ball throwing during the game :)

Unfortunately, 24 hours later, Trapper was very, very sick. The night of February 2 was really hard. By this point, Trapper's lymph nodes were VERY large. He was laying on the sofa, lethargic and almost unresponsive. I took the picture below, thinking it might be the last photo I ever took of Trapper (spoiler alert: it wasn't, thankfully!) Trapper had trouble walking, and we were extremely worried about him. I spent an hour holding Trapper's head in my lap, recounting all of our adventures (thank you to all you fabulous friends who recommended this to me). It was a painful experience, but Michael and I shared some laughs, too. One day I'll write about all the adventures, but some of my favorite memories that I shared with Trapper were: the time we spent playing in the river in Dolores, where we went for a trial when we were on the PACH hunt, the dinner we had that same night, just the 2 of us, in a field (with about 1,000 mosquitos!), running in Challengers at Nationals, our road trip, just the 2 of us, to Tulsa for our second Nationals, where thanks to my friend, Janelle, who reminded me before our last run that we needed to pick up speed if we were to make it to Challengers, we had the amazing privilege of running in Challengers again, when Trapper was 12 years old and in remission from lymphoma :), how we sat in our hotel room after a tiring day eating microwave popcorn together, our time this summer playing in the ocean in Oregon, and 100 other memories... If you haven't told your pup the story of his/her life, I highly recommend it--I think you'll both enjoy it!

The next day (February 3) Trapper woke up, stood up, walked across the room and downstairs. We were flabbergasted. He looked at us like, "What?! Why are you looking at me like that?!?" He was still a little wobbly, but otherwise bore almost no resemblance to the super-sick dog of the night before.

I told Trapper's vet about his behavior the night before and she was quite worried. Trapper's lymph nodes at this point were larger than they'd ever been, though still only the ones under his neck were enlarged, which was good. She was afraid he'd gone septic, or maybe had some abdominal tumors that had popped up. However, the bloodwork and ultrasound showed nothing. Then she suggested that he is, in fact, just messing with us--he watched the clock that night until he knew the clinic was closed and then, bam! the acting started ;D  All jokes aside, we all know it's a scary time, and that more than ever, every day is a gift. But joking sure does help with coping...

His white cell count was high enough for chemo, so we switched him to a drug called Bleomycin. That treatment went well, and I think his lymph nodes are a bit smaller today, 3 days post-treatment. But they haven't shrunk quickly and significantly, as I'd like them to. We're hopeful Bleomycin will work, and we can give it weekly. When it quits working, we can try to switch back to Vincristine, which has worked well in the past. There's another drug, but it really hammers the immune system and GI tract, so we don't think Trapper is up for that. After that, well, there just aren't many treatment options left. As Trapper's vet said, none of the drugs we have left will add months to his life. But, as she also said, Trapper is so far out from diagnosis (2 years and 4 months), that we're so far off the beaten path that we can't even see the path anymore. This boy is such a fighter! We're thinking of renaming him The Phoenix, as he seems to rise from the ashes every time. Michael always reminds me, "Don't count Trapper out!" And Trapper's vet said "When do we trust that he's really done, because he's been the Ironman?" Trapper has taught me about tenacity like no human I've ever known.

My working buddy--I had a report to review, and I was able to do it with Trapper by my side. I am very fortunate.

As I type this update, Trapper is napping. He still has a great appetite, likes his toys and growls at me when I make him mad (like when I try to help him up off the floor sometimes-lol!) That's my boy, though, I wouldn't want him any other way.

If you've read this far, thanks! Your support helps more than you know. We're looking forward to an amazing weekend here with temperatures in the 60s--I plan to walk my old boy around the block and cherish every step.

With love,
Kirsta & Trapper

"He's faking it"

The title of this blog post is the joke in our house these days...So many times since Trapper was first diagnosed with lymphoma 2 years and 3+ months ago, he'll act so completely like he did before the diagnosis that Michael will announce "he's faking it". Of course he's not, but it absolutely speaks to his amazing will to live. More on that below :)

Since the last update, I've been so fortunate to have amazing support from so many friends. Your kind, supportive words have helped so much--thank you!!

Last week (Jan 6) Trapper went back to the vet for a CBC and his lymph nodes were normal in size!!! This is the best news! This medicine is much more effective in treating the lymphoma, which is awesome!! His strength has also increased, and the sparkle is back in his eye! The only bummer is that the chemo tanked his white blood cell count. The low end of normal is 6.0 and his count was 0.7. Eek! But, his vet said it's not a big deal as long as we don't expose him to other dogs or places where he could pick up a bug. He's also on some antibiotics that should help protect him. He returns tomorrow (Jan 13) to have his blood levels checked again and hopefully they'll be back to normal, or at least closer. Assuming he's doing better, he will have another chemo treatment on January 20. We've also increased the meds to help his back end strength and he's doing well--he even bounded up 2 steps in one jump a few days ago! 

What?!

Trapper definitely has his sleepy days when he's hard to wake up....those days kind of freak me out!

Trapper has started loving his toys again! This orange ball is no more, though--he tried to eat it ;D

I love this picture! THIS is the sparkle in Trapper's eyes that I always talk about.

I had some down time and thought Trapper and I could spend some quality time together. Trapper wasn't so sure....

And after about 3 minutes he'd officially had enough "quality time" and curled up facing away from me--LOL!

A week ago we were having discussions about how we would make a decision at the end for Trapper. Our wonderful vet advised us (mostly me!) to not obsess every day about Trapper and whether he was better or worse, which is exactly what I was doing. Instead, we set certain dates when we will assess how he's doing. That, combined with Trapper feeling much better has made us all a lot happier :) We are thankful for every day we have with Trapper. 

Kirsta & Trapper (who is counting the days until his 14th birthday!)

Christmas Trapper

I promised Trapper that if he stayed with us through Christmas, I'd give him a steak for Christmas. He did it! And he loved the steak! More on that later.....

Since the last update, Trapper had another Lomustine treatment, this time combined with L-asparginase on December 16. At that time we also added gabapentin to hopefully help with his increased muscle weakness/pain in his back end. To help address the possible inflammatory bowel disease, we have increased his azathioprine (an immunosuppressant that he's been on for years for his immune-mediated thrombocytopenia).

Trapper's never been a fan of snuggling, but we have had some nice snuggle time on the sofa the last few weeks. (Just don't tell him I posted these pictures!)

  

Mr Sleeping Beauty....

At the vet, ready to see his favorite doctors and nurses!

Before his chiropractic and laser treatments, Trapper ran through some tunnels, jumped a few 4" jumps and jumped onto the low table. I was sad to see him have trouble getting over the one 8" jump that he took, and noticed that his telltale barking while running agility was gone. He was too busy focusing on getting through the obstacles with his weakened body.....  I do, however, remember how incredibly fortunate I was to compete with this pup until he was 13 years and 4 months old. What a gift! I'd give anything for him to be able to run with the joy that he used to. (Though he does look pretty happy coming out of that tunnel!)

 Don't let his expression fool you... he loves Dr Andi! He was cranky at the time of treatment, but I'm sure it helped him feel better the next day.

 

Love this shot--not only is he showing off his Christmas collar, but I see the sparkle that is Trapper.
That steely look of determination. He really is a dog like no other.

On Dec 23, I took Trapper in for a CBC follow up from his Dec 16 chemo treatment. I took this photo when we got to the vet's office. I thought Trapper was just being his usual badass self by the look on his face, but then realized that he was stuck.....His left leg had slid down between the seat and the wheel well and he didn't have enough strength in his back legs to get himself out. Most dogs would welcome help getting out, but not Trapper! He glared at me, and eventually started snarling and snapping at me. Soooo, quick trip in to the vet to borrow a party hat, and I was able to get him unstuck. It wasn't easy though, and Trapper was pissed off at me! Merry Christmas, Trapper style ;D

Trapper waiting to get the treats off his paws. Unfortunately, when I released him, he didn't go for the treats....combined with the "stuck in the car" situation, this lack of willingness to move for FOOD which he LOVES really
hit home with me how weak he was.

Trapper's vet was also quite concerned about his back end weakness (his back legs just slide out from under him on smooth surfaces), so she fashioned these hobbles to help him out. I'm not sure whether he's licking his lips because he just ate treats or because he wants to eat us for putting hobbles on him--LOL! Seriously, though, they have helped A LOT! His grandma even sewed him a few pairs so they'd be smooth with no knots (thanks, Grandma Sandy!) We've also added twice a week vitamin B injections and alpha-lipoic acid supplements. His weakness seems to come and go, and we're hoping it improves with these new treatments.

Christmas morning!!

Christmas gifts! Trapper has a bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin.

Trapper spying to see what Joker & Blaze got....

"I want to eat it NOW!"

Waiting patiently for me to cook his steak.

Ready to EAT!!

Trapper is certain he should eat the leftover steak

Unfortunately, on Christmas night, just 9 days after the Lomustine treatment, Trapper's lymph nodes became enlarged again. If the drug was working well, he would have stayed in remission for 21 days. The cancer appears to have become resistant to Lomustine. On December 26 and again today (Dec 29) I spoke with the vet about our options. Tomorrow Trapper will go back in for a CBC and we will either treat him with Vincristine or Mitoxantrone, both drugs that have worked well in the past. We stopped using them for Trapper because we thought they were causing stomach upset and making him feel miserable. Now that we know the stomach issues may be unrelated, we will give them a try again. We're now trying to balance the lymphoma, the stomach upset and the hind end weakness against each other. We don't want to use such an aggressive chemo that it throws the other 2 off, but obviously want to keep him in remission as long as possible.

Poor Trapper is feeling really puny tonight. Hoping that the vitamin B and chemo will restore that sparkle to his eye....

This is an extremely difficult time. Two years ago when Trapper was diagnosed with lymphoma, I asked about the end. What would happen? Eventually we would run out of treatment options. We're not there yet, but we're close, I'm afraid. I hate to see him suffer. The days that he's having no fun, or worse, when he's sweet and pitiful, I fear the inevitable. It's such a huge obligation we have to care for our furry kids all the way through their lives. I just so want the old, cranky, spunky Trapper back. I enjoy every moment I can with him, regardless.
Hug those pups.............
Kirsta & Trapper

A day of thanksgiving....

The new medicine works! Trapper's first treatment kept him in clinical remission for about 18 days. We would have preferred that it work for the entire 3 weeks, which is how often the drug is administered, but we're thankful that it did work. Also, Trapper's white blood cell count stayed in a reasonable range, and he has felt AMAZING! He's been having a great time...more on that in the photos below.

More great news is that Trapper's stomach upset issues are MUCH better. Some days his system is totally normal. It's possible that the medication to treat the protozoa worked, but more likely we think is that Trapper self medicated....WHAT?? Well, we've been giving Trapper home cooked food for months now, trying to settle his stomach. He's been eating chicken, rice and hardboiled eggs. Well, we had just bought a new bag of kibble for Joker and Blaze, and accidentally left it unsecured and Trapper did what Trapper does....gorged himself, of course! He came waddling upstairs looking like a stuffed turkey, and guess what? His stomach got better! So, we left behind the home cooking in favor of kibble and he's doing much better. Who'da thunk?? And thankfully, his appetite is still over-the-top amazing.

The reality is that these cancer cells are fairly resistant, which isn't good. So, on the second Lomustine treatment on November 25, we increased the dosage a bit, hoping that it will keep him in clinical remission for the entire 3 weeks, until December 16. We also hope that his white blood cells stay up, which we'll know after his CBC on December 2.

Here are some photos of Trapper's adventures the last few weeks:

Trapper says he'd like to eat me for giving him a bath...not a happy boy. But, he was nice and clean
afterwards (and I still had all my fingers!)

My little snow monkey after his first Lomustine treatment.

Handsome boy!

Don't tell Trapper I told you, but I think he really does love me...the growls and snaps are just his cover....

Trapper's "chicken leg". Poor guy has lost a lot of strength and coordination, but it doesn't slow him down!

Celebrating Trapper's 13 3/4 year old birthday on 11.22.14. So thankful he's here to celebrate!

"Seriously, you're making me wait in the SNOW because you think it's a great picture??"

Trapper enjoying a snow snack on Thanksgiving Eve.

Trapper and his crazy little sister, Blaze. Blaze absolutely LOVES Trapper, and he's pretty fond of her, too ;D

Trapper loved his walk in the snow, even if he slipped a few times.

Classic Trapper. So VERY annoyed by me insisting on taking his picture.

Trapper, Blaze and Joker on a walk in the mountains on Thanksgiving Day.

On this day of Thanksgiving, I am so very thankful for my Trapper boy, for the fact that we've found the resources for his life-saving treatments, for the amazing medical staff that cares for him, for the support of my awesome husband who lives with Mr. Crabby, Snarky, Bossy Trapper, but still understands how much I love Trapper (and he does, too!) and for my dog-loving friends and family who feel the ups and downs of this journey with me. Thank you all for your support and give your pups an extra hug from me.

Kirsta & Trapper (who's super excited about the steak that I promised him for Christmas)