The Phoenix

It's been 3 1/2 weeks since the last blog post, and we've had some good times and some tough times. On January 13, Trapper had a CBC and his white cell count was higher, so on January 20 he had another Mitoxantrone treatment, but this time at a lower dosage so that we hopefully wouldn't tank his immune system as much as last time.

Trapper resting on the sofa....totally unaware that he's about to be EATEN BY A DINOSAUR!
(Thankfully, I saved him just in time!) 

On January 17, Trapper was feeling great so we went for a walk in the neighborhood. It had been a long time since he'd been walking, and I think he enjoyed it (though he wouldn't look at the camera ;D )

On the lookout!

Trapper getting laser treatment on January 21. But don't let the party hat fool you -- he likes it!

On January 27, Trapper went in for a CBC and his white cell count was low, but not scary low like last time. Unfortunately, his lymph nodes had started increasing in size less than a week after chemo, and this chemo protocol is a treatment every 3 weeks. This was VERY disappointing, as it meant that we'd lost one of our treatment options...

One night Trapper was shivering...and he actually let me cover him with a blanket :)

Yep, more sofa time--we squeeze in as much as we can get. I dread the day that his spot is empty...

Is he a handsome boy, or what?? Such a proud, badass pup!

A friend gave Trapper some dried apple treats--he LOVES them. Thanks, Patti!!

He'd eat the entire container if I'd let him!

The kitchen floor is Trapper's favorite hangout when we're upstairs.

On January 30, the pups were spoiled by a visit from Uncle Perry & Aunt Denai.
El Diablo (aka Trapper) says they are welcome back anytime (well, as long as they bring those yummy treats!)

 This is a photo I've been thinking about taking for several weeks. It's all the ribbons Trapper has earned over the years. Lots of title ribbons, clean run ribbons from all his runs at Nationals in Reno and Tulsa, and of course his PACH ribbon and bar. There are so many ribbons, stacked several ribbons deep. Of course I'm proud of our accomplishments, but what these ribbons represent most to me is the amazing bond that Trapper and I have built. Every one of those ribbons represents a time when we stepped on course and worked together (well, almost all the ribbons--lol!) Every one of those ribbons represent a gift that I will forever cherish. And of course, not shown are all the runs we didn't qualify on. Those runs were gifts, too. Some of them were more rewarding than the ones we qualified in. The runs when Trapper and I were in sync and dancing that amazing, flowing dance of agility are runs I will never forget. For the record, Trapper, I will also remember the almost year and a half of runs where you refused or hesitated to get on the table. You stubborn boy, I love you!

The boy with his box of ribbons.

See a trend? Yep, more sofa dreaming time.

Trapper contributing to the household by pre-washing the dishes.
Gross, I know, but I'm thankful that I still get to push him out of the way so I can run the dishwasher!

 Super Bowl Sunday and Trapper was having fun! We enjoyed some ball throwing during the game :)

Unfortunately, 24 hours later, Trapper was very, very sick. The night of February 2 was really hard. By this point, Trapper's lymph nodes were VERY large. He was laying on the sofa, lethargic and almost unresponsive. I took the picture below, thinking it might be the last photo I ever took of Trapper (spoiler alert: it wasn't, thankfully!) Trapper had trouble walking, and we were extremely worried about him. I spent an hour holding Trapper's head in my lap, recounting all of our adventures (thank you to all you fabulous friends who recommended this to me). It was a painful experience, but Michael and I shared some laughs, too. One day I'll write about all the adventures, but some of my favorite memories that I shared with Trapper were: the time we spent playing in the river in Dolores, where we went for a trial when we were on the PACH hunt, the dinner we had that same night, just the 2 of us, in a field (with about 1,000 mosquitos!), running in Challengers at Nationals, our road trip, just the 2 of us, to Tulsa for our second Nationals, where thanks to my friend, Janelle, who reminded me before our last run that we needed to pick up speed if we were to make it to Challengers, we had the amazing privilege of running in Challengers again, when Trapper was 12 years old and in remission from lymphoma :), how we sat in our hotel room after a tiring day eating microwave popcorn together, our time this summer playing in the ocean in Oregon, and 100 other memories... If you haven't told your pup the story of his/her life, I highly recommend it--I think you'll both enjoy it!

The next day (February 3) Trapper woke up, stood up, walked across the room and downstairs. We were flabbergasted. He looked at us like, "What?! Why are you looking at me like that?!?" He was still a little wobbly, but otherwise bore almost no resemblance to the super-sick dog of the night before.

I told Trapper's vet about his behavior the night before and she was quite worried. Trapper's lymph nodes at this point were larger than they'd ever been, though still only the ones under his neck were enlarged, which was good. She was afraid he'd gone septic, or maybe had some abdominal tumors that had popped up. However, the bloodwork and ultrasound showed nothing. Then she suggested that he is, in fact, just messing with us--he watched the clock that night until he knew the clinic was closed and then, bam! the acting started ;D  All jokes aside, we all know it's a scary time, and that more than ever, every day is a gift. But joking sure does help with coping...

His white cell count was high enough for chemo, so we switched him to a drug called Bleomycin. That treatment went well, and I think his lymph nodes are a bit smaller today, 3 days post-treatment. But they haven't shrunk quickly and significantly, as I'd like them to. We're hopeful Bleomycin will work, and we can give it weekly. When it quits working, we can try to switch back to Vincristine, which has worked well in the past. There's another drug, but it really hammers the immune system and GI tract, so we don't think Trapper is up for that. After that, well, there just aren't many treatment options left. As Trapper's vet said, none of the drugs we have left will add months to his life. But, as she also said, Trapper is so far out from diagnosis (2 years and 4 months), that we're so far off the beaten path that we can't even see the path anymore. This boy is such a fighter! We're thinking of renaming him The Phoenix, as he seems to rise from the ashes every time. Michael always reminds me, "Don't count Trapper out!" And Trapper's vet said "When do we trust that he's really done, because he's been the Ironman?" Trapper has taught me about tenacity like no human I've ever known.

My working buddy--I had a report to review, and I was able to do it with Trapper by my side. I am very fortunate.

As I type this update, Trapper is napping. He still has a great appetite, likes his toys and growls at me when I make him mad (like when I try to help him up off the floor sometimes-lol!) That's my boy, though, I wouldn't want him any other way.

If you've read this far, thanks! Your support helps more than you know. We're looking forward to an amazing weekend here with temperatures in the 60s--I plan to walk my old boy around the block and cherish every step.

With love,
Kirsta & Trapper